MrMIAOW's HAVEN

January 18th, 2006

Letting Go of Hurt

*came across a blog entry from http://lindachia.blogspot.com/ 

*she (LindaChia) has all the credit to the below article


 
Letting Go Of Hurt      by LindaChia     

It is so much easier to have been hurt, and not recover since, then to let the hurt go.

The hurt could have been from anything - a careless remark/action from a loved one, or the lack of loving remark/action from a friend when one is down, or built up, layer by layer, through a series of events over time.

Sometimes, the hurt could have transmuted in the process, morphing into anger, disappointment, resentment, contempt, or disillusion. Or all of them.

And then you give up.
You give up on the friendship.
You give up on the romantic relationship.
You give up being your father's son.

To me, in the context of the human race, it's all about the loving relationship between 2 parties, though it is called by different names.
We call the love for friends "friendship".
We call the love of a significant other "romance".
We call the love for family "kinship".
We call the love for the unfortunate "compassion".

Despite its many names, the grandeur of the love in the relationship automatically pales when hurt creeps in.

Suddenly, your friend doesn't seem to know you so well anymore.
Your lover's actions are filled with suspicion in your eyes.
Your sister can't seem to be counted on as an ally.
The unfortunate doesn't seem as deserving (case in point: NKF).

We flinched, and stepped away, and withdrew part of that love, so it would hurt less. All the while holding the hurt in our hearts.


Take a step back, and really think. Was it really that bad?


Sure, when the hurt happened, the feelings were real. Rightly or wrongly, logically or illogically, reasonably or unreasonably - we feel the hurt, and the sting of the pain was very real.


But I took a close look at myself.

After suffering the same unhappiness for some time, I have come to realise that the only thing that is haunting me, is ME.

I did not let go of the hurt.

Replaying the scene and the unkind words in my head like some sorta twisted masochist, I revisited my pain.
I poured out the injustice to some friends, hoping to find comfort and maybe even pity - only to re-affirm the same awful feelings of disillusion again in my heart.
With hurt in my eyes, I looked at the person who had unknowningly inflicted the pain, hoping she would see it and I would get validation.
Stroking the wound when the world had gone to bed at night, I held it close for company, wallowing in its exquisite pain, and sobbing pitifully over it.

It's all destructive.


The pain had been inflicted once, and the incident could have even been long forgotten by the perpetrator, but it was ME who held onto it. Haunting and hurting myself, over and over.

Of course, it is very very difficult to let go.
Sometimes, we need our feelings validated to help us move forward. Sometimes, even an apology doesn't help, because the pain was so much. When I look at my dad, I know he carries the hurt from my mum still, 15 years on. Still refusing to let go. And hurting himself with it all this time.


But who was it that said "To err is human, to forgive, divine"?


Very cliched, but very true.


Today, I've decided to let my hurt go. I know that when I look at my beloved friend in the eyes again, I will be seeing the wonderful person that I love, not the horrible person who caused me pain.

It will be the love I hold onto this time.

Posted by mrmiaow at 04:12 AM | 1 comments

January 11th, 2005

Long long time..

Long time no blogs... hehehe

Posted by mrmiaow at 03:23 PM | 1 comments

July 13th, 2004

Beware of motocyclist while driving on the road....

The following incident taken from forwarded mail


Subject: Beware of motorcyclist WHE 195
----------------------------------------------------

Dear All,

Below is nothing fictional and just happened to me last night, Sunday 13/6/04. After a catching-up dinner with one of my good friends in Sunway Pyramid last night, I headed out to the traffic lights opposite Sunway Pyramid (left to Damansara and right to Puchong) Meant to avoid the heavy traffic on my lane, I put on the left signal, swifted to the left lane and carefully avoided an Indian motorcyclist on that lane (the distance between my car and the motorcyclist was about 1 1/2 metres, which i am positive it was not at all too close) right before the traffic lights turned red.

Much to my surprise, the motorcyclist honked and as he rode past my car, he kicked and banged hardly on my passenger's window. Due to few of my past experiences that have taught me not to stir with any Indian drivers or motorcyclists, I ignored him and didnt do anything stupid to piss him off. He then stopped his motorbike right in front of my car and started staring at me, and of course showed me his middle finger. I looked down, had my mobile ready just in case if something unexpected happen. While waiting for the lights to turn green, I looked up to check if he was still staring at me and no doubt, he still was. In less than 30 seconds later, he got off his bike, took out his helmet and walked right next to my driver's side, basically in the middle of the road and with many pairs of eyes
observing his behaviour as my car was queued up second behind the traffic lights.

In split second, I knew he wanted to scare me but wouldnt do anything dangerous or stupid. But in less than a second later, I found myself sitting on a puddle of shattered glass and started to feel my right arm was stinging with pain. When I looked up, he was already gone as the lights conveniently had turned green. I was in a state of total shock. I couldnt speak, had no idea what have just happened and to make things worse, I felt something dripping down my nose, lips and my left eye. Then, I realised much of the shattered glass had cut through my both arms, and my face. I was bleeding, and couldnt think straight but to keep on driving. My whole body was shaking tremendously and it was like my mind went numb.

I picked up my mobile and called my family. When I reached the Puchong toll, luckily, a couple was following me and helped me to stop me from driving, asked if i was okay and managed to jot down the number plat for me (WHE 195) Two hours later, I went home after visiting a nearby clinic. The doctor took almost an hour to pick out all the bits and pieces of glass on both arms, my back, scalp and face.

I have reported to the police but much to my expectation, it was helpless. My dad has decided to take this matter into his own hands and I wish not to describe what he has planned or done to that guy. The whole night I couldnt sleep as everytime I tried to close my eyes and sleep, I saw that bastard staring at me. To be physically hurt, with more than 20 minor scratches everywhere is unlucky, however I m thankful because if the cut on left eyelid flew just half a cm lower, it would have cut my eyeball and things could be much worse.

BUT, to be mentally injured is probably what I have to deal in a longer time. Up to this minute, I still couldnt accept that this had happened to me. I have not speak more than 5 sentences today and admit that I m still very much in a state of shock. Often, I've heard who got into an accident, difficulties etc and didnt expect such thing would happen as it was totally unexpected.

There are reasons as to why I m writing this email. Firstly, I could not 'speak' of last night's incident to my friends, even describing the situation to my family makes me feel sick in the stomache. I hope to feel better that I am allowing myself to reveal what has happened by putting it in words.

Secondly, to whoever reading this, be it taking this as a lesson, raise your awareness or just another story to be heard, I just want this to be known and be aware of this bastard riding this f***ing WHE 195. I m lucky to get away with physical minor injuries but one day, somebody might get seriously hurt both mentally and physically and no offense, it could be any driver, even you. I couldnt help but wonder how many of these cases go unreported even though victims have brought the case forward to helpful and friendly police officers in Malaysia and how many of these mobs riding around town like barbarians. AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT DESERVE SUCH TREATMENT AND WILL NOT ALLOW IT. I m feeling traumatised, distressed, angry, upset and UGLY. And for god's sake I have no idea how frequent he s been doing this because he was so f***ing calm and smooth when he smashed the window with his helmet.

© Luv,
Ç h ® | z - T - ñ á

Posted by mrmiaow at 10:12 AM | Add a Comment

July 12th, 2004

Becareful when boarding a bus.....

The following article was copied from an online newspaper - the Star on 10 July 2004.


Robber tricks volunteer
-----------------------------
BY MARSHA TAN

JOHOR BARU: It was certainly not a case of “one good deed deserves another” when a social worker on his way to a fund-raising charity event was robbed of his money and handphone.

Johor Baru Single Mothers Association volunteer Peh Meei Luen, 25, had boarded a bus with association vice-president Lim Bee Yen, 30, at the Larkin bus terminal on Thursday night.

They were on their way to Penang as part of an effort to raise RM265,000 for a child who needs a liver transplant.

Peh said there were more than 10 passengers on board at 11.15pm but no sign of the bus driver or attendant although the journey was supposed to have started at 11pm.

“Suddenly, a man in his 20s boarded the bus and came towards me. He asked me in Mandarin if I had beaten up his friend earlier.

“When I said no, he approached other Chinese passengers and asked them the same thing,” he said at a press conference organised by Majlis Perbandaran Johor Baru Tengah councillor Khoo Soo Seang yesterday.

The man then approached Peh again, said he did not want to beat up the wrong person and told Peh to follow him out of the bus “to be identified by his friend.”

Not suspecting anything, Peh did as the man asked.

When they were in a dark spot at the bus station some 100m from the platform, Peh’s handphone rang.

Immediately, the man whipped out a small knife and ordered him to hand over the phone and all his money.

“After I had handed the things to him, he asked me to wait while he fetched his friend and walked off.

“Lim, who had left the bus to seek help, arrived and I told her what had happened. It was then that I realised I had been robbed,” said Peh.

He said he and Lim identified the suspect from the photos of three different people the security guards at the bus terminal complex had on file.

The guards, he said, told them a number of people had made similar complaints about the man, who used the same modus operandi to rob bus passengers.

Peh lodged a report early yesterday at the Larkin police station.

Posted by mrmiaow at 10:38 AM | Add a Comment

July 10th, 2004

Complaint by sms.ac.com's user....

This article was found from an online forum http://chinese.cari.com.my/myforum/viewthread.php?tid=145863&fpage=1&sid=xqMVqu

It is in Malay language. To summarize it, the user adviced everyone not to use or register any company providing sms services advertised in newspaper or online. This is because this user had been cheated by sms.ac.com's services. He/She registered into this service, which was automatically registered into an international sms club. Since then, he/she had been receiving sms from those registered in the international sms club. However, each sms received from the "friends" of the international sms club will be CHARGED RM5 into his/her mobile phone bill and the end of the month, the bill accumulated to a large amount. The mobile phone service provider couldn't do anything except to advice you to unsubcribe the sms's services or to change a new number.

Posted by mrmiaow at 11:29 AM | Add a Comment

Direction of my blogs....

At first, the reason i started this blog is to carved my memories into an easily maintained and accessed journals during my stay in Korea. Not only i can shared it with everyone especially my family from a distance, but i also could always visit back the sweet memories lane.... However, the journals is not as complete as i would like to... sad sad

I couldn't think of a better way of finding the direction/contents of my blogs. i could always write my daily activities in here but i think my fren could always contact me to keep me "in touch". Besides, i only have some close frens that would be interested in my well being but to the mass internet users/readers out there, it will not serve them any useful purposeses except to pass time.

Now, I will use my blog as a place to serve and protect the community especially the people that i treasured and loved by posting various informative articles that i found online through forwarded emails and etc. However, the contents may not be true. I will try my best to filter them to avoid any false informations circulating around and I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE over the consequences!

Occasionally, I may update any current news around me...

Cheers and stay tune for up coming new direction of this blog~~~

Posted by mrmiaow at 11:13 AM | Add a Comment

May 17th, 2004

5 months passed......

I'm back....... again....... after a long vocation ? or vacation ?

Well.... i have reached my life's "junction" again. What is next for me after completing my basic degree ? going to work or further my studies ? there are so many questions and options.... should i go back Korea to further my studies ?
sigh... i hate "junction". Making decision is sometimes so hard for me....

Life seems pretty bored as mostly all my friends had left this old historical place..... I sincerely hope that one day, they will be sucessful whether in working life, or becoming a great family man/woman :p

KEEP IN TOUCH n ALL THE BEST ~~~~~

Posted by mrmiaow at 06:23 PM | 5 comments

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